In Through The Out Door

The restaurant closes tomorrow. I’ll be transferring over to my boss’ other company, doing film capture and video/audio editing. I’m excited for it, and to be out of the restaurant industry. I think it’s a step in the right direction, if nothing else.

It’s so strange how each decision you make throughout your life is so vital. Big and small decisions alike. One choice leads you down a path that leads you down another path that branches out into a complex series of avenues that lead you to where you are today. Its like the thick, single trunk of a tree that turns into thousands of tiny branches and twigs. Like, if I hadn’t have accepted the supervisor position at DQ, I wouldn’t have been manager at this job, and I wouldn’t have met my boss and now be starting this new job. Or, If I would have went to Taylor Jr. High instead of Brimhall, I would have never met Lindsay and she would have never have gotten me the job at DQ for me to be promoted and then work here and then at the new company. Or if I would have never went to the Wild Hare on that Tuesday night 5 years ago, then I would have never met Sean and we would have never dated and he would have never reccomended me to my boss in the first place. 

So now here I am, sitting with three different options. 

1) Move out and to tempe

2) Move out and far far away

3) Stay

Simple decisions, right? No. Because each lead to a bunch of different decisions that could change my life drastically and, being me, I can’t find any rest until I’ve turned each of those possibilities over in my head.

It gets cold all alone, and you know that well,

but you look to the ice for warmth.

You bury your fire under a blanket of snow

and don’t understand why it doesn’t burn.

You silently curse as the flames are snuffed,

and gather wood from the snowbank,

then rebuild your fire in the center

of a fragile frozen lake.

“Love is Best”, but you aint got none of that to go around,

none for no one but yourself.

You’re a walking double negative, a breathing contradiction,

you make yourself the martyr in every situation.

You want your heart to break cause you don’t know any different,

and you’ll surely find that in the places you are looking.

You search for an oasis from your bedroom window,

if it’s not within eyesight, it’s a myth or a fable.

A lie to cover a lie to cover a truth that you have no where to go,

So you balance yourself on the thread of someone elses bedroom floor.

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